Beyond the bounds of reason
Preface.
One night, Tim woke up from sobs and moans, and each time they grew stronger... He got out of bed and saw his friend sitting on the floor not far from him.
"What's wrong?" asked Tim, but in response, the tears from his friend's eyes only flowed harder.
"What's wrong?" he repeated, hoping to hear a coherent answer.
"I... I... I love her..." Alex answered quietly, "she's the best girl in the world," he added almost inaudibly.
"Who?" Tim asked cautiously, afraid to upset him even more.
"Her.. Anya..."
Tim knew her,
she was a very decent girl, from a not-rich family, modest. But what could have driven a 16-year-old guy to tears?!"I love her..." he whispered again.
"Then why are you crying? Love is beautiful, isn't it..?"
"She doesn't love me. I'm just a friend to her..."
Tim was always ready to help a friend, but unrequited love is an illness for which there is no cure...
Lyokha's words stuck in Tim's memory so much that every time he remembered them, a storm of emotions would overcome him; he wanted to scream, to run somewhere far away... Probably, that clump of energy is what they call jealousy. He felt so hurt that his best friend had someone else besides him. Tim lost control, and a tear also rolled from his eye. They sat like that all night, and each of them had a different reason, united by just one word – love.
"Lyosha! Lyosha, wait!" But he didn't even think of turning around; he didn't want to talk to anyone. But the one calling him was much more persistent and patient than Lexa, and he had to turn around.
"Lyosha, hi! You're walking like you can't hear me, I'm tired of running after you!"
"Umm.. Sorry, I was lost in thought," he answered so as not to offend the speaker, "So what did you want?"
In front of him stood a beautiful girl with long pink hair, big green eyes, dressed in a simple school uniform. She was taller than Alex, so he had to lift his head up to say anything to her.
"I wanted to tell you... God! What's wrong with your face? And your eyes... why are they red?"
Her name was Ellen, or rather just Lena; not long ago, she had transferred to Alex's class.
"It's not important," he answered her phlegmatically. "So what did you want?"
"It's..." Ellen thought, "well... anyway, I forgot..." she said and lowered her eyes.
"Ah, well, it happens." The guy smiled and walked on.
"Lyosha!" he heard again and turned around. "Maybe we can have lunch together, huh?" Lenka made a happy face and added a questioning "mm?"
"Sorry, I can't, I urgently need to meet someone. And I won't be having lunch today, and please do me a favor, don't tell anyone I left, okay?"
"What? You're leaving? Where?" The happy face changed to a sad one. "Okay, don't tell me, we're friends, of course I won't say." She smiled and went in the opposite direction.
Actually, this strange guy named Alex, well at least that's what his friends called him, or to be more precise – acquaintances. Lyosha didn't have people he could confidently call his friends... Except for him, who had helped him since early childhood, been with him in sorrow and joy, they had gone through fire, water, and copper pipes together!! His name was Tim or Tim. He was a year older than Lex, a bit skinny, but that made him attractive to girls.
Lyosha walked along the sidewalk, which was quiet and empty, as most people in the city at this time were either working or studying.
He walked and thought about his unhappy fate, his suffering and pain... Of course, he didn't hide it, and in general, he didn't know how or simply didn't try to hide his feelings and emotions. He was an egoist but wasn't at all ashamed of it, as he knew that all people are egoists and only a few stand out from this mass.
Lex was an ordinary guy, but there was something special about him after all, something that bothered many, but he only needed her...
He stopped in the middle of the bridge and came very close to the edge. Literally leaning over the railing, he stared intently and carefully into the depths of the river and probably could make out its bottom.
"How nice to be a fish..." suddenly ran through his head. "or a bird..." – The guy raised his head to the sky so high that the bright sun hit his eyes, and he, stepping back, fell onto the cobblestones. The guy lay on the ground for another 5 minutes, smiled foolishly, and covered his eyes with his jacket sleeve. Then he got up, didn't even bother to dust himself off, and wandered further down the street. His thoughts were still the same and flew chaotically in his head.
"I'm home," Lyoshik said sadly but at the same time loudly, taking off his shoes in the hallway.
But there was no answer. This seemed strange to him, as it was already about four in the afternoon, and Tim was always home at this time. The guy went to his room, the door of which was somehow suspiciously locked.
"Probably, I locked it in a hurry this morning," thought Lex and didn't attach much importance to it. He opened the door and began changing clothes out of habit when he suddenly heard some rustling. The guy turned around, and imagine his surprise when he saw Tim sleeping on his bed with his shorts unbuttoned, who, apparently, hadn't managed to hide the "evidence of the crime," judging by the stains on the sheet.
Lyosha stood in a stupor, thoughts moving at the speed of light. He didn't know what to do, run or stay, as something like this had never happened before. His heart was pounding wildly from fear, embarrassment, and surprise... His head spun, and he fell to the floor, hitting the guitar with his hand, which also fell and made a characteristic "twang-crash."
From this noise, his older comrade woke up, who quickly shook off sleep and was horrified that Alex had seen him in such a state, and in his bed at that.
Tim quickly ran out of the room with wet eyes, without saying a word. He felt ashamed, hurt, and scared. He was afraid of his best friend's reaction.
Alex, at this time, sat on the floor, staring blankly at the wall and holding his head in his hands.
Tim quickly got dressed and rushed out onto the street. He sat on a bench near the entrance and was silent. He wanted to sink through the ground, just to not feel his friend's contempt...
After sitting outside for some time, Tim gathered his courage and decided to go into the apartment and explain everything to Lyosha. He quietly opened the front door, walked into the room without taking off his shoes, and saw his friend, completely calm, lying on the sofa and watching TV.
"I'll explain everything..." Tim began.
"About what?" Alex asked calmly.
"Well, about that..." the guy answered, shifting from foot to foot.
"You're kind of weird, I don't understand you. Want some tea?" Lyosha said with a hint of indifference in his voice and headed to the kitchen.
"What's wrong with him?" flashed through Tim's head. "He probably decided to pretend nothing happened, and then he'll throw it all back in my face later." – He clenched his hands into fists tightly.
"Lyosh, are we still friends?" Tim asked loudly but with a tremble in his voice from the room.
From around the corner appeared Alex's surprised face, who really didn't understand what was being discussed.
"Yes, why are you asking?"
"Don't you remember anything, or are you pretending?!" Tim grabbed Lyosha by the hand.
"Damn it, what do you want from me?! I don't know anything!" The guy tried to pull his hand away but unsuccessfully. "Let go! It hurts!"
Then Tim saw an empty blister pack of some pills on the table.
"What's this?" he asked his friend menacingly. "Where did you get them?!" The guy pointed his finger at the shiny, crumpled packaging.
"What's this..." Lex mimicked him. "Headache pills!"
"You lie well..." Tim muttered despondently and, letting go of his friend's hand, left the kitchen.
At night, Tim couldn't sleep; he was still tormented by that intrusive thought, and also those pills... He got up from the sofa and wandered out to the balcony, took out a cigarette, and lit it.
"Why does he need her...?" he said thoughtfully, taking a drag.
"Who needs who?" suddenly came from behind. "Can't sleep?"
"Damn, why does he always appear at the wrong moment?!" Tim choked on the smoke.
"Yeah..." he forced out, trying to cough. "Why aren't you sleeping?"
"Had a scary dream..." answered Lyoshka.
"I wonder what kind?" Tim turned his head to his friend, who was also standing by the open window of the balcony loggia, enjoying the smell of the night city mixed with cigarette smoke.
"Just... nonsense, really," Alex smiled.
"Well, but what?" Tim persisted.
"I dreamed that I caught you in my bed after jerking off, then swallowed a bunch of pills and died."
"What the hell?! So that's what those pills were!" – Tim quickly shifted his gaze from Lyokha to the window, then back to him... He tried not to betray himself with agitation, but the hand holding the cigarette was treacherously trembling.
"What's wrong with you?" Alex was surprised. "Got scared by the dream too?" he giggled. "See, I told you it was scary." – The guy began to laugh quietly.
Tim suddenly threw the cigarette out the window and looked intently into Lyosha's eyes.
"Don't look!" the guy said in a commanding tone. He was about to push his friend, but the other sharply grabbed him by the hand, pulled him close, and sank into a sweet kiss on his lips. At first, Lyosha resisted and tried in every way to pull away from Tim's lips, but then he finally realized it was useless.