A forced visit to the neurologist
PREFACE:
Dear readers!
Before continuing, I would like to explain some of the motives behind creating this story-fantasy. As the master of the short story, Sergei Donatovich Dovlatov, used to do in his time, I asked myself the question:
— "Why, for what purpose, did I write all this?"
And I must answer that the purpose of my story is:
— to describe the emotional state of a young man, frightened by an inevitable and excessively cruel punishment for a minor transgression.
— to describe the feelings that arose in him when he had to strip naked in the presence of a young nurse and female student interns
and subsequently endure touches and reflex tests…I have no intention whatsoever to discredit in any way the system of medical care and the conduct of conscription campaigns that existed in the distant Soviet past.
And yet, for many subsequent years, I was haunted by the suspicion that with one stroke of a pen in a medical record, a conscript could be sent for an additional examination, but in reality — for conducting practical lessons and training on perfectly healthy and carefully selected human material from among the young men of military age undergoing the medical commission…
The fact is that I myself, in my youth, got into a similar predicament when I was sent to a hospital for an additional examination without explanation.
During the routine medical commission, while I was in the office, I could observe how the urologist doctor approached the therapist and they whispered, casting significant glances in my direction..
In reality, it turned out that back at the military enlistment office, she had "spotted" me for use in her practical classes with students at the hospital. What was my surprise, mixed with burning shame and a feeling of defenselessness and complete powerlessness, when in the appointed office I turned out not to be a patient sent for further examination, but after "appropriate psychological processing," I was "voluntarily" forced to act as a training model for student interns studying the methodology of one of the well-known procedures — cystoscopy…
The manipulations were repeated on me until all the student personnel had acquired certain practical skills.
The certificate issued to me upon completion of such an "examination" stated that I was perfectly healthy and fit for military service after graduating from the institute…
However, please note that the entire described moral-ethical side of the situation — is merely a fiction, inspired by a vague assumption. Here is another, not unimportant remark:
On one of the Russian-language forums, in the archives dedicated to embarrassing situations during medical examinations, I came across a true story, the author of which was hidden under the nickname Dim_m.
It was this short story that stirred up the emotions of past years and prompted me to write my own fantasy, interpreting the events of the mentioned story in my own way. However, the description of the experiments — is entirely borrowed from Dim_m. So it turned out to be a kind of "composition" of two works harmonious in theme. Accept this as the "joint creativity" of two authors, even if they are strangers to each other.
— — ————————————
First, allow me a small digression.
— Does a doctor have the right to examine a conscript in his birthday suit, or not? and how ethical is it.
I can tell you: don't break spears in vain!
He has every right! According to medical ethics developed back in past centuries. Moreover, any doctor — surgeon, neurologist, therapist, dermatologist, orthopedist, oncologist, and others are obliged to examine the patient naked during the initial appointment.
It doesn't matter — where this examination takes place — in a hospital, clinic, dispensary, diagnostic center, or, especially, in a military enlistment office.
Another thing is that in the vast majority of cases, this is not done.
— — —————
So, I continue:
The medical commission at the military enlistment office, conducted for students studying full-time and having a military department, sent me to the clinic at the hospital for an additional examination by a neurologist, as if to say… — by accident…
During that medical commission in the therapist's office, I was talking too loudly with my partner, interfering with the listening of another conscript's chest, and first received a reprimand.
The second reprimand did not go unpunished for me…
The therapist thought I was doing it on purpose, with the aim of "messing around," — so she put a mandatory check by a neurologist in the medical record… Let them, they say, deal with the psycho properly…
I must say, a depressing impression of slave-like dependence and my own powerlessness accompanied me throughout my stay at the military enlistment office.
The formidable shouts of warrant officers, trying to show the "unfledged youths" all the beauty and charm of unquestioning execution of orders, forcing them to march in formation and endless roll calls — such a creation of a typical army atmosphere… I will remember for a lifetime the episode of humiliating guys caught evading the draft.
Conscripts undergo the medical commission in a separate building, designed most likely according to army standards.
An anteroom with a changing room, then a series of sequentially connected rooms, having a common entrance and exit, where the last room has an exit to the same anteroom.
Thus, a conscript, having entered through the entrance door, simply cannot avoid sequentially passing through the entire chain of offices until he finds himself back in the changing room.
We were called according to a list, in groups of 10 from the general conference hall, and accompanied by a warrant officer, we walked through the courtyard to the building of the conscription commission.
Entering the anteroom, the warrant officer commanded us to strip down to our underwear and handed our personal files to the little nurse who stood at the entrance.
Conscripts were called in pairs, the rest waited for their call, sitting on benches along the wall. So, it was at that moment when I was in the anteroom that something happened that made an indelible impression on me.
At the time, while we, stripped down to our underwear, were sitting on the waiting benches, the door suddenly opened — and a group of guys entered inside, looking dejected and frightened, with their eyes lowered to the floor and literally trembling with fear…
The formidable warrant officer commanded them to line up in the middle of the room, then conducted a roll call and ordered these unfortunates to strip completely naked, piling all their clothes in a heap on a chair near him… and he himself sat down nearby — to guard the stuff.
When someone from our group asked the warrant officer why these guys would be without underwear, that warrant officer grinned impudently and replied:
— "Well, these are — draft dodgers! These are conscripts who evaded the draft in their time and now they have been 'caught' — and they must be punished for violations.
We had cases when 'draft dodgers managed' to run away even from the medical commission in just their underwear, — after all, the beach and sports facilities are not far from here…
— But after they are stripped completely naked — we haven't had a single escape case!!! "-
— You can't run far naked… " — the warrant officer explained with malice and smirks.
Then, for a more complete impression, he lined up the pathetic bunch in a row at attention, forbidding them to cover themselves with their hands, and ordered them to stand in that position until our entire regular group of 10 people had passed this medical commission…
Undoubtedly, such humiliation played its role, and all the guys received a visual lesson in army punishment…
So, having a referral to the hospital, I remembered with horror what severe trials might await me in case of being late or not showing up…
On the appointed day, having washed up of course, I headed to the given address, afraid not to show up on time…
More than thirty guys had gathered in the yard, waiting for the procedure of putting into action the "military enlistment office punishment for transgressions" to begin…
— "Wow! How many guys have been driven here from the entire district!"
— Are they all — such malicious violators of peace and discipline?"
— a curious thought flashed through my head.
In the yard, there was already a comrade from a parallel course whom I knew from school — Tolik Druzhinin…
— "What? Also by military enlistment office summons?" — he asked me not without some curiosity…
— "Yes… here I have to pay for unworthy behavior… " — I vaguely answered his question…
— "And me, here, — were driven here simply because I started asking why the dentist and ophthalmologist need to be seen without underwear?"
— Tolyan shared the details of his referral…
Soon, a warrant officer appeared with a stack of personal files in his hands.
His mood was clearly hungover, which did not bode well…
After formation and roll call, nurses from different departments began to approach him to gather groups of guys subject to the corresponding examinations.
— "Seven people — to the surgery department!" — commanded the warrant officer,
— and seven of us, knowing our referrals, dejectedly followed the nurse to "atone for our sins"…
— "Ten people — to urology!" — and again a bunch of unfortunates left the formation…
— "Two to the neurologist!" — I and Tolik Druzhinin stepped out of the formation…
We'll have to go through the trials together… Together with a fellow institute student…
— — —————————
I won't say that I felt joy from this.
The thing is, young men of my age are much more embarrassed by their peers than by adults…
Guys, subconsciously, are always trying to compare themselves with other peers in terms of their physical and anatomical indicators… And God forbid if any sizes are smaller!
Institute gossip will immediately spread the secret all around, not giving the discussed victim a minute of peace and time for rehabilitation…
Moreover, undergoing any medical examination, especially a military enlistment office one — is not a holiday:
It is — the necessity of being undressed and at the same time following the commands of tired, angry doctors in front of a fellow sufferer, my peer and neighbor from the yard, studying with me at the same institute…
After all, seeing him later in the corridor or on the street, I will inevitably recall far from rosy pictures of our humiliation…
And that it would be humiliating — there was no doubt!
After all, essentially, both of us were sent here as "punishment" for violating discipline…
I would have preferred to go through this humiliating procedure together with a stranger, whom I would hardly ever see again…
Although, of course, Tolyan did not cause me particular concern.
He was also a guy quite physically developed, very attractive in appearance, of my height and build.
True, he was more fair-haired, while I — typically Russian in appearance, blue-eyed, with a mop of straight, light brown hair on my head, with a golden tint in places faded by the sun…
— — —————————————-
Together we stood at the door of the office, with a strict sign
DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT INVITATION!…
Finally, a female voice was heard, inviting both of us to enter…
Inside the office, which looked like an anteroom, we were met by a young nurse, about 20 years old — who immediately took the initiative:
— "Undress, put your clothes on the chairs!"
— she ordered in a voice that brooked no argument
As if in slow motion, I began to follow the instruction.
— "Underwear — too!" — the girl didn't let up, apparently getting great pleasure from the opportunity to command two tall, tanned, and physically developed guys.
We took off what was left, and on stiff legs, in single file and covering ourselves, we passed into the main adjacent office, with a closing door… The little nurse also entered after us and slammed the door with an English lock, as if blocking our path to retreat…
What we saw in the spacious office made both of us freeze and stand rooted to the spot… And for good reason!
At the table, with her back to the window, was an unfamiliar doctor, about 30 years old, and on either side of her were seven chairs on which student interns sat, who immediately began to impudently examine our bodies…
The nurse who commanded our undressing — also sat down on a stool by the entrance, observing the silent scene from behind and apparently not wanting to miss a single episode of our examination with Tolya…
Experiencing burning awkwardness, we stood with our eyes lowered, instinctively covering our intimate parts with our palms and trying not to concentrate on the shamefulness of our position…
Apparently, this neurologist doctor was also the supervisor of the practice for the young first-year girls… Well, let's begin then…
— "Guys! Come closer, cast aside false shame!
Here you will be examined by future medical specialists, and 'not girls from the street'!"
— the matron remarked ironically.
— "I warn you of your responsibility!
You have been sent here as violators of discipline, must bear punishment and therefore the further examination will be conducted within stricter frameworks than during the usual procedure!
In order not to waste time, you are to carry out all orders unquestioningly and as quickly as possible, in a military manner!
I remind you that if you violate the established order and discipline even once more — I will send you back to the military enlistment office so that you are punished more severely, as violators of the law 'On Universal Military Duty'…
— "I hope you understand?" — she asked sternly
Tolya and I nodded dejectedly, trying to the last to delay the time of forced exposure of our most intimate places…
— — —————————————-
While we stood in agonizing anticipation of the upcoming trials, it could not have occurred to either of us what a complex, unspoken mechanism had been set in