Will you surprise a prostitute?
Will you surprise a prostitute?
— Lera, how long have you been doing this?
— About five years, I guess. Around that...
— Ever thought about quitting?
— Quitting? How would I pay the rent then? And I have to raise my son... What kind of future do we have on a seamstress's salary?
— I see... But, well, this... m-m-m... job... It's very dangerous, isn't it? Have there been any incidents with clients?
— There's been all sorts. One asshole — almost broke my nose, the bastard! People are often drunk, and you can expect anything from drunks!
— Have you had any strange clients?
— Perverts, you mean? Plenty of that! Like,
about a month ago: Some bald dude took me to a Korean restaurant. Well, we sit, we eat... It's okay, we eat... Then we go to his place... In the room, on the floor, a white-white carpet, an armchair in the corner — and that's it!"Sit down," he says, "and relax." Well, I think he's indecisive — wants to prepare, but he tells me: "Lera, when you feel like going to the toilet — tell me!"
— "What do you mean?", and he says: "I," he says, "want you to shit on my face!" Can you imagine? Crazy! "Fuck," I think, "Lerka's done for!" This psycho — he definitely won't let me out alive! But he tells me: "Lera, don't be afraid! I won't hit you and I won't shortchange you... Just do as I ask!"
I say: "What if I don't need to take a dump until morning?" And he says: — "Don't worry, Lera! I remember you charge by the hour... Morning — so be it."
— Crazy! So, what did you do?
— Well, what could I do? I sit, I wait. No TV, no magazines... Good thing I had my purse with my makeup, or I'd have died of boredom...
And you know, that food, Korean... Well, anyway, I started getting really gassy. And you can't tell if you're going to take a dump now or... Oh! I don't even know how to tell it! It's both funny and a sin, in a word! A few times he stuck his bald mug under my ass, and there — just wind... Oh, I'm embarrassed...
— It's okay, Lera! Don't worry... So, what happened next?
— Well, what next? By evening, I finally gave birth — I went and dumped a load right on his nose! I jumped back and think: "That's it! This psycho is going to kill me now!"
— And him?
— And he — smeared it all over his face — and went to the bathroom... To wash, probably... I'm standing in the corner, half-dead, and suddenly, a hand from behind the wall throws a wallet and keys to the front door, and this nutjob, there, behind the wall, yells: — "Take everything that's there and get lost! Slut!" Well, "slut," so slut... I grab the cash — and head for the exit...
— And him?
— And he — stayed...
— Wow... You have a terrible job, Lera!
— Well, it happens, of course, but mostly, people — are tolerable.
— I understand... The weird stuff is clear... Have there been any funny incidents?
— And funny ones — have happened.
Once, a lady ordered me. Well, I came, satisfied her lesbian fantasies, went back home. Suddenly, a couple of hours later — a call, to the same address. Only now — a man... Well, I went... It was classic — oral, anal... Anyway, I get back home, go to take a shower — phone rings: a young guy orders and again to the same address! "Fuck!" — I think! If I'd known — I'd have hung out on the bench by the entrance! Would've saved so much cash on taxis!
Anyway, I get to the guy's place... It's also standard — "this and that"... But, the most interesting part — was later! A week later, some old man comes up to me and says:
— Come, miss, have dinner with me, like, you're my young wife?
— Well, — I say, — you know the rates... I can play wife too...
Long story short, we go to a restaurant, and who do you think is there? That whole trio! The husband, wife, and their son! And my old man — turns out to be their restless grandpa! Fuck! Dinner — somehow didn't go well from the start... They sit there, blushing... and I eat, I sit... That's the story...
So, journalist, don't you want a blowjob, I can do it right here, in the car? Otherwise, it's kind of awkward for me to take money just for talking...
— No, Lera! Don't. It's fine. Take it. You helped me a lot with the article...
— Yeah? Well, okay then...
— Good luck to you, Lera!
— And to you, colleague, good luck! Drop by if you need anything...
— Oh, Lera, Lera! And what a tongue you have!
— I know, I know! Many praise it...