A comedic story or friends with benefits

This story is comical and absolutely true, and I want to assure you that friendship between a woman and a man cannot exist, or rather, it can, but it is based on the anticipation of sex. And if your friendship has already lasted several years or quite a long time in your opinion, then I assure you that if you are a woman, then you have a friend, and you maintain the friendship with him only because he meets all your requirements for an ideal man. That is, he is loyal to you (not in a sexual way, but as a person, although you are jealous), always ready to rush to help, always ready to lend a shoulder, you feel confident and even desired around him. Your friends are truly

envious of your friendship and compare it with your boyfriend or even husband, and for some reason, always (almost) in comparisons, your friend wins. However, you don't let him get close to you because you value the friendship, and this is SELF-DECEPTION.

Because as soon as you find yourselves alone, say, on a deserted island (and the continuation of the human race does not depend on you), you will either become physically intimate or come to hate him, as the suddenly appearing daily life will change your attitude towards him. You will become more demanding of him and start viewing him as a permanent partner, and it's no longer a given that your actual partner will lose in comparisons.

I gave this example if you have a friend. And if I'm wrong in your opinion, then you don't have any friend at all, just a parody or simply an admirer, who, in turn, has long since mentally undressed you and had you in various Kama Sutra positions, as no man will maintain a friendship with a woman he doesn't find physically attractive and secretly admire.

After all, a man views a woman as an object of desire and merely tries to carefully hide this feeling from his female friend, also valuing the friendship with her (this is done to be near his object) (by the way, even a wife has no right to reproach him for meeting with her). Even in companies, he defends the position that friendship between a man and a woman is real and cites his own example, although he doesn't tell the whole truth, but sometimes he slips up. Because if we assume that his female friend's appearance changes or she somehow ceases to interest him as an intimate object, he will gradually transition to, let's say, a remote friendship and then it will fade away completely.

Thus, we can conclude that friendship between the two sexes is merely a reason for two secret lovers to be together. I am not at all referring to friendship between colleagues, neighbors, or the like, as these people, due to circumstances beyond their control, maintain precisely friendly, not close friendship relations with each other, although they constantly confuse the two.

And now think and answer yourself HONESTLY: do you have a friend (female friend) or are you actually a secret lover (mistress) and ready to wait for years for this person who is ideal in your view. But I want to disappoint you, because you will have to be disappointed VERY SOON, as your ideal will turn out to be completely different in everyday life, and after a short time spent as in a GOOD FAIRY TALE, you will break up without getting the ideal partner and lose a friend in the process.

That is precisely why I assert that friendship between a man and a woman cannot exist, and if it does exist, then it is simply a veiled sexual attraction to this person.

Well, and now let's move on to my rather comical case.

Once, after a fairly good, night out, I came to my female friend's place. My head was simply splitting, pills didn't help, and I couldn't have a drink to cure the hangover because of the smell, and since I had to go to work, though by lunchtime it turned out I had already skipped it.

— Hi, Oksana – I said to my female friend when she opened the door for me

— Hi — she greeted me warmly — come in, I'm cooking something there, are you hungry? — she asked me a question and, without waiting for an answer, hurried to the kitchen, ordering with her amazing butt, slightly covered by a modest house robe.

— Oksana, are you home alone? — taking off my shoes, I entered the kitchen and stood in the doorway

— Yeah – she answered without turning to me, continuing to stand in front of the stove – why aren't you at work?

— Well, I'm still drunk from yesterday, Oksana, since you don't have anyone home, can I lie down at your place – and added – right here on the couch – hinting at the small sofa located in her kitchen.

— Are you sure? — After my question, she froze and turned to me

Here I'll pause a bit and explain to you that we quite often had secret conversations, like close friends, in which we shared even intimate circumstances. You know, I even want to stop here and assure you that women are such chatterboxes, it turns out they discuss practically everything, not practically, but everything. Although it was unpleasant for me, I knew how her husband has her, on which days he is usually active and on which he completely avoids her, what she likes more, and what not so much, but she keeps quiet about it so as not to hurt his feelings.

I remind you once again: if a woman is friends with you, then in you she sees an ideal partner, and according to her notions, you, as an ideal man, should be able to listen, understand, and empathize, listen more and talk less, hug when she herself wants it and press her to your shoulder when tears appear in her eyes (this is me, for example).

So, I knew that her husband completely satisfied her in sex but only avoided oral caresses, or rather, he performed cunnilingus on her a couple of times, but not to the end and not quite as she would have liked. She compared him to her ex who was obsessed with this matter, and apparently she missed those caresses. When I listened to her, I shook my head disapprovingly, condemning him, and said that it wasn't normal, and that I, for example, do it for my partner with pleasure, and she gives me blowjobs, and I even told Oksana that I would be ready to do it for her out of friendship, but such relations are forbidden between friends.

We laughed then, imagining how it could be, and forgot. But speaking for myself, I certainly didn't forget and certainly wanted to give her an awesome and unforgettable cunnilingus (as I know how), but in reality, I didn't dare to offer it to her.

So, let's return to our story. To be honest, I didn't mean anything by it, and I didn't even understand what I had said and what she thought, but I'll try to tell you what happened next so that you understand.

Oksana, as I already wrote, turned to me and, after asking me "if I was sure," without waiting for an answer, began as if reasoning with herself in her mind but out loud.

— You understand that this isn't entirely right, I'm certainly not against it if it happens once, but I feel so awkward in front of your Marina, and do you really want it yourself? – turning off the stove, Oksana sat on the sofa, leaning back on the backrest and spread her legs. I saw snow-white panties on Oksana's beautiful, slender, and tanned legs, and I even saw how they got wet (a thin wet strip between her prominent labia). I was stunned by this turn of events and, having somewhat gathered my scattered thoughts, I realized that the phrase "can I lie down at your place" (полЕжу) she took as "can I lick you" (полИжу).

I guffawed like a horse, bursting with laughter, and began to explain to her between fits of hysterical laughter that she had misunderstood me and how funny it had turned out. However, Oksana got upset and started kicking me out of the house and generally said that I shouldn't dare come to her anymore now. Realizing that this quarrel could become our last meeting, I started to wriggle out and told her that I actually came up with that phrase myself because I didn't know how she would react to my offer to perform cunnilingus on her out of friendship and that I dream of eating her out (my head, strangely enough, completely cleared up).

From her face, it was clear that she was very offended and probably understood herself that the situation had actually happened not as I was trying to excuse myself. She was probably angrier at herself than at me, but I, as a friend, of course, ended up being the scapegoat.

In the end, after about 10 minutes, I was already fully demonstrating my skills in the sex act called cunnilingus, and not just cunnilingus, but cunnilingus out of friendship. And then it happened again, not once, and at first often, and then less and less, and when she finally gave herself to me (about six months later), I completely lost interest in her, starting a real comparison of her with my partner, who came out on top in all positions. And Oksana herself somehow told me that our friendship had come to an end, and that she didn't want to just fuck and cheat on her husband, and that this cunnilingus actually wasn't worth the loss of our friendship.

I agreed with her, and we began to meet less and less often until our meetings completely ceased. Now I only remember this comical story and don't understand whether to be happy or regretful, as I lost the object of desire in the process, but at the same time, I realized that the one who had been by my side all this time turned out to be THE ONE!