Funny incidents from our lives

We were traveling by train, and in the neighboring compartment, I immediately noticed a pretty blonde. Somehow, a table organized itself, I went into their compartment, we got acquainted, had a drink. Soon it became clear that she was up for anything. But having sex right away was impossible, and we agreed that I would come at night. It got dark, I had a little drink for courage, entered her compartment, quietly closed the door, undressed, and by feel crawled under the blanket onto her lower right bunk. She immediately started breathing excitedly, and she wasn't wearing panties either, so I went right in and came silently after about five minutes. Well, without pulling out, I continued my long thrusts and came a couple more

times with pleasure, she also had a couple of orgasms, biting my shoulder several times and moaning quietly. It was very sweet with her!

I got dressed in the corridor, where at least something was visible, and went to sleep. In the morning, through my sleep, I see my blonde standing in the compartment doorway, and she says so reproachfully: "I waited for you so much, and you're a liar, you promised...", and gets off onto the platform. I come to my senses, reconstruct the events in my head, and in horror realize that last night I went into the wrong neighboring compartment! I knock there, open it — no one. And on the lower right bunk lies a crumpled piece of paper, on which in green pen, in quick handwriting, is written: "Thank you, dear Man! That was the best night of my life. Maybe now I'll finally become a mummy..."

And this is my friend's story, when she told it after the fifth shot, we laughed so hard

I'm married, we live with my parents. I'll say right away that my dad never knocks when he comes into our room. Once I was sick, but I desperately wanted sex. And so, when I was giving my husband a blowjob, I was overcome by such a coughing fit, it was awful. And then dad walks in with the phrase: "Sweetie, suck on some mucaltin! What are you holding in your hand? Mucaltin?"

: My college buddy Zhenya and I once met two friends at a party — Anya and Marina. They were big, assertive women. Soon he took Anya to his place. Things didn't work out with Marina and me, and I returned home alone — angry and disappointed. At one in the morning, Zhenya calls, simultaneously laughing like crazy, sometimes groaning, and all this against the background of a siren wailing:

— If you're with Marina right now, get off her immediately! Immediately! They're from the rowing team! Mine, when she was under me, grabbed my butt and, when she came, yanked with all her might! They're taking me to the hospital in an ambulance right now with a torn butt!

Good thing things didn't work out with Marina for me...

It happened down south. There was so much cherry harvest that the owners, from whom we rented a room, allowed us to pick berries right from the trees in the yard. I armed myself with a stepladder and, as soon as I tried to reach the ripest berries, felt a decisive touch of cool fingers to my genitals. Someone flipped my goods into the other leg of my shorts, while giving such a wonderful caress! And a gentle female voice said reproachfully:

— Vasya, the children are watching!

The funniest thing about this story is that I'm not Vasya. It turned out that the husband of this beautiful blonde living next door had the same shorts and flip-flops as me. Later one evening she quietly popped over to me to apologize, but I joked — only if you caress me again. She didn't want to caress. but quickly gave me a blowjob — I was delighted.

— Doctor! Look at the X-ray, there's a carrot in his anus.

— But it's so big — how did he eat it?

— But he didn't eat it! (Conversation in a hospital)

A friend was traveling by train. In her compartment, there was a couple who had sex at night. My friend was sleeping peacefully and didn't hear anything, but then the train suddenly jerked, she fell from the bunk onto the floor, opened her eyes and saw an erect penis right in front of her nose from the man who had jumped up in fright. My friend screamed.

— Don't be afraid, it will fall too, — the neighbor reacted sadly. Then my friend took him in her mouth and he quickly came. And when she sat back in her place, she was stunned — the man's wife quietly applauded her, thanking her — saying that if her husband hadn't come right then, he'd be as angry as a little dog all day. So they drank a glass of wine for the timely help and laughed for a long time...

One girl was dating a young man. And they were big fans of anal sex — they liked to protect themselves that way. Then somehow they broke up abruptly, and the young man went to her friend, with whom they, in turn, came to love oral sex. He left her even faster — found a "packaged" girl and married her.

Both of them, feeling upset, were sitting in my kitchen one evening, pouring their hearts out, I was topping them up and sympathizing, they were suffering, shedding tears, all men are bastards. I agree with them — I'm one myself, a complete scoundrel. Then the second one says to the first:

— To hell with them all! Let's be lesbians!

— No, — the first one answers, — I can't kiss that mouth that had that penis in it, which was in my ass.

We probably laughed for half an hour. couldn't stop, from her such an escapade, then we drank another glass of wine and lay down together on my bed. It was just magnificent — lying between the legs of one, enjoying her tight vagina, I came nicely in the first one's ass. And then, after a shower, I settled between the first one's legs and, bringing her, strongly aroused by our moans and sighs, to orgasm, came with pleasure into the second one's mouth.

And now my neighbors and I have complete unity — their mouths and asses are always at my service. Only one condition — bring the girl to orgasm! How lucky I am that guy left them!