Pinocchio
Parody is the best form of plagiarism.
Long ago, on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea, lived an old organ grinder named Carlo. Once upon a time, Carlo in a wide-brimmed hat walked through cities with a beautiful barrel organ. Singing and playing music to earn his bread...
Thus, or approximately thus, begins the famous fairy tale by Alexei Tolstoy "The Golden Key, or The Adventures of Buratino." Its heroes became idols for children and subjects for all sorts of tall tales and jokes. And, strangely enough, there has never been a single parody or anything similar of this fairy tale. And as for the true meaning of the work, no one has ever given it a thought. So let's tell the old story with new
words about recent and familiar deeds...Loud swearing and sharp blows resounded from the window of a small house that stood forlornly at the end of the street, at the foot of a hill. Josephine was distinguished by a quick temper and a fiery temperament worthy of any Italian woman.
— When will you finally learn that the dishes must be clean and neatly put away?!
The woman was scolding her husband Carlo and accompanying her lectures with sharp slaps to the man's cheeks. Carlo was kneeling before Josephine and meekly enduring the beating.
You might ask, where did Josephine come from? It's simple... Josephine — Georgette — Giuseppe... And as for who Giuseppe is — I don't think I need to explain.
— This simpleton will be the death of me! Just look at this. How is this possible?!!
Josie was brandishing a frying pan, on whose greasy surface traces of mouse paws were clearly visible. In her rage, she was comical. Her widely set legs, slightly plump figure, and broad, sweeping gestures made this woman resemble a circus clown from a fairground booth.
— You won't get away with this!! Bring the whip, now!!
— Josie... Carlo looked up at his wife pleadingly.
— Do it now, you wretch! the woman shrieked.
The man sighed heavily and crawled on all fours to the far corner, where a long whip with five tails lay on a stool. Approaching the stool, he took the whip's handle in his teeth and carried it to his wife. Josephine waited patiently, hands on her hips. As soon as the man approached, she snatched the whip from his mouth with a jerk and, stroking the tails, purred tenderly:
— Well, what are you waiting for? Bare your ass.
Carlo clumsily fell onto his side and began hurriedly pulling down his pants. Marks from beatings, pinches, and bites were visible on his body. Soon he was kneeling again, but now naked from the waist down. Josie pulled up a chair, and with a quick, sharp push, she threw the victim onto it, stomach down, buttocks up.
Gently and tenderly stroking the man's body, the woman smiled predatorily. The next moment, the tails of the whip rang out as they landed on the buttocks. Josephine began to lash Carlo with fast, strong blows. Describing figure-eights and arcs, the tails landed along their entire length. The man groaned weakly with each blow. This excited the woman even more. Her eyes burned, and her hands themselves sped up the pace of the punishment. From the side, it might have seemed that the whip was moving independently of its owner.
Soon Josie grew tired and relaxed, sitting down on the bed that stood against the far wall of the room. The woman lazily crossed her legs and, pleased with herself, examined the naked man. Carlo was slowly and clumsily getting dressed and trying to get up from the chair. He wasn't doing well. This picture amused Josephine. She smiled slightly and said dreamily:
— It's a pity I don't have a dick, or I would rape you in your beautiful ass!!
— But why not... ???... she suddenly perked up. A cunning plan had formed in her head. She quickly jumped up from the bed and, grabbing Carlo by the hair, dragged him to the closet under the stairs where firewood and other junk were kept. He awkwardly scrambled with his hands and feet, trying to keep up with his tormentor. His head was slightly tilted to the side and raised upward.
Leading him to the cubbyhole, Josie opened the small door and pushed Carlo inside. Then she took a collar, which was attached by a long leash to a special hook in the wall, and with smooth, gentle movements, placed the collar on Carlo's neck. Tightening the strap firmly, she slapped the man's cheek with pleasure. It was clear from everything that Carlo was not in such a situation for the first time and was already accustomed to it.
Probably, this is where the line in the fairy tale came from: "Carlo lived in a cubbyhole under the stairs, where he had nothing but a large fireplace painted on an old canvas."
— Make me an object resembling a dick! Of impressive size... there's plenty of material here, and the tools are at hand; well, I don't need to teach you. Report when it's ready!
And Josephine slammed the door shut. Carlo heard her pealing laughter and heavy footsteps.
He looked around. There really was a lot of material. Carlo often fixed or repaired things while sitting in this cubbyhole. Moreover, his wife often used this room as a prison for her husband. Sorting through several logs, Carlo came across a small log he had once hidden away.
— A good log. It could make a good table leg.
Saying this, Carlo took out a knife and began carefully whittling. Carlo worked unhurriedly, checking every movement of the knife. The wood was soft and very pliable. Carlo was surprised at how easily and precisely the desired shape was achieved. He worked with surprising ease and naturalness, as if someone were guiding him. The knife itself knew where to turn and how deep to make a cut. Soon, a phallus approximately 18-20 centimeters long and three fingers thick lay lovingly on Carlo's lap. All that remained was to make the scrotum and a small saddle for the body. Carlo admired his work. The master eagerly set about finishing his creation. He worked selflessly. It was like an obsession. The product strangely attracted him. It came to life in Carlo's hands and took the shape it itself desired.
Finally, the master made one last cut with the knife and sawed the finished product off from the remainder of the log. Amazingly, the prosthesis seemed to separate itself and jump onto Carlo's lap. Lovingly looking at his creation, the master reached into the toolbox and took out sandpaper. Placing the prosthesis between his legs, he began to sand and polish it as if he were masturbating. The work so captivated the man that he no longer realized what was happening around him.
After sanding and polishing the prosthesis, Carlo solemnly placed it on the small table attached to the wall of the cubbyhole... And suddenly a miracle happened! A small, thin ray of light penetrated the gloomy and cool cubbyhole and fell on Carlo's creation. The wooden object suddenly glowed with a pleasant pink light. It seemed to absorb the sunlight and fill with it. The sunlight was breathing life into the inanimate object! The wood began to acquire surprisingly realistic features and color. It pulsed and breathed. Carlo could swear he saw it sway gently from side to side as if shaking off its numbness. The cubbyhole lit up entirely with a dazzling white-yellow light! Carlo felt cheerful and warm in his soul! He wanted to sing and jump like in childhood! But then the light began to gradually fade.
— What are you doing in there? Planning to start a fire?!!
Josephine abruptly opened the cubbyhole door. She wanted to say something else, but seeing the glowing object on the table, she froze and only stammered:
— What a beauty!
She gazed at the object spellbound. Her hand involuntarily reached for it and gently took it. The warmth and firmness of the object left no doubt — it was a living organ. Josephine carefully cupped it in her palms, trying to retain the desired warmth. Then, as if in a trance, she flung open her skirt and carefully positioned the prosthesis against her panties. It seemed to have been waiting for this. The object instantly stuck to the fabric and already seemed an inseparable part of her body.
Carlo sat before the woman and watched what was happening just as spellbound. He saw how Josie brought the object to her body and how it fused with it. It looked absolutely natural and real. Josephine massaged it a little and moved her fingers back and forth along it. The prosthesis instantly responded to the caress and assumed its full size, standing erect as a wooden object should.
The woman gently pulled the man's head toward her. Carlo brought his head closer and took the prosthesis into his mouth... Began to suck it... She felt a surge of warmth and pleasure in her groin. It seemed to her that the man wasn't sucking but licking... yes, exactly licking her labia, slightly penetrating inside.
And the man sucked and sucked the prosthesis, which was so similar to a real one. He felt how the object filled with strength and penetrated his throat all the way to the pharynx, pleasantly tickling the walls of his throat. (Specially for .org — ) For convenience, Carlo grabbed Josephine by the hips and made smooth sucking movements. She helped him with counter-thrusts. The tension grew and the excitement intensified. In the heat of passion, Josie strongly pulled Carlo by the back of his head toward her and quickened the pace. She moaned rhythmically with each penetration of the phallus into her mouth. Beside herself with delight and ecstasy, the woman abruptly knocked the man over and forced him to turn his backside to her...
The next moment, she forcefully and sharply inserted the phallus into Carlo's anus!